My Mission

I have decided to take you on a ride. As I spend the last year of my 30s, I will take you with me. That’s right. This year, I am 39. 3---9. Hard for me to say it without choking up. I hate admitting it, and I’d rather not think about it. But hey, isn’t it the new 29? Yeah right.

Mortified and in deep denial, I realized the best way for me to deal with this crisis is to face it head on. That if I were to grow older gracefully like many of the classy ladies I so admire (Lauren Hutton, Diane Lane, Diane Keaton), I better accept it. And I better hustle.

So I want to relish my 39th year by celebrating it as best as I could every day. I want to make each day purpose-driven. Of course deep down I will be horrified, fearful and depressed from time to time, but I really do want my 39th year to matter. Really matter. I am not discounting that I did manage to improve the last 2 decades. But somehow there was no urgency. I guess the saying, "Youth is wasted on the young" finally makes sense to me. I always thought I'd be that cool older lady...the one that doesn't sweat her age. But now that the big 4-0 is around the corner, I do feel some dampness on my forehead. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING THE PAST 39 years?!!

Major or minor changes, they are all stuff that I’ve been carrying around with me for a long time. I just don't want that weight on me anymore. Because it's not about growing up and becoming oh so mature for me. What it is, is "me" growing better.

So at least every week, I will candidly share with you my adventures in attempting to become a better version of me. And as my birthday is November 5, I only have 9 months and 4 days left. By the time I am blowing 40 candles, I sure hope that aside from the fire extinguisher, I carry with me that confidence that I am yet to reach my prime.

Wish me luck.

Monday, November 1, 2010

THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

(3.5 days remaining)
As I was planning the LA edition of my 40th Bday celebration, I decidedly wanted to keep it more "grown up". In my head I was 40 soon and I should have an "adult" party. More ladylike. I picked napkins that were a classy and demure black and white theme. I decidedly insisted on a nice creative centerpiece of succulents and lemons. And a stoop decorated by lavender and pumpkins. The only problem was, it's not in my real nature to be so poised and demure as the napkins indicated!

I may be on the final days of my being 39, but it does not mean I don't get to be silly anymore. In fact, I am realizing that as I enter a new chapter (and a new tick box) soon, all the more I needed a huge sense of whimsy about it all. And if friends are willing to get down and silly with me, all the better.

In deep gratitude for the life I have lived and enjoyed, the "adult" party turned into a SCARY HOLY SH!T Bday. It was Halloween weekend and so I embraced the panic of it all. I was going to laugh at 40's face.

The more I prep'd the apartment for the party, the more I wanted a party that celebrated the "people" around me. It was a party for graces in my life. So before long, I was carelessly tossing wine corks on the table spread, sliding on a hot pink and gold-roped headband. I was off to the 80s of my teens.

The Horror! The Horror!
(from left, Claudia, Markus, Jephenny, y a o, and Jon, the wine steward)

The night was a wine-food pairing night. And the guest list was short but selected well. We had a blast. Wine and appetizer pairings were inhaled. It was easy finger foods, not anything too prissy, but still delectable by all means. We were sprawled around the sofa, just chatting about everything and anything. Come to the candle blowing, I asked everyone to blow a candle each as we held y a o's treats. Wishes for everyone! It was not to be a Miss Perfect and by-the-book night.

And you know what---no one really cared about the big 4-0. I was "Vanessa" in their eyes, and will always be just "Vanessa" 39 or not.

(Special thanks to JC, my co-conspirator for helping me make it happen. Without days of lifting, mopping, clearing and cutting, I wouldn't have had a party. He also made for a very knowledgeable and entertaining wine host, sweatband and all.)
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2 comments:

  1. M CNovember 2, 2010 at 12:15 PM

    Galing naman ng pose mo.... smack right into... bend over ka pa! LOL! :D
    Ops, walang pikon!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownNovember 3, 2010 at 6:20 PM

    LOL to MC's comment above! =))

    I'm glad that you allowed yourself to just be and enjoy the company of your LA friends!

    ReplyDelete

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