My Mission

I have decided to take you on a ride. As I spend the last year of my 30s, I will take you with me. That’s right. This year, I am 39. 3---9. Hard for me to say it without choking up. I hate admitting it, and I’d rather not think about it. But hey, isn’t it the new 29? Yeah right.

Mortified and in deep denial, I realized the best way for me to deal with this crisis is to face it head on. That if I were to grow older gracefully like many of the classy ladies I so admire (Lauren Hutton, Diane Lane, Diane Keaton), I better accept it. And I better hustle.

So I want to relish my 39th year by celebrating it as best as I could every day. I want to make each day purpose-driven. Of course deep down I will be horrified, fearful and depressed from time to time, but I really do want my 39th year to matter. Really matter. I am not discounting that I did manage to improve the last 2 decades. But somehow there was no urgency. I guess the saying, "Youth is wasted on the young" finally makes sense to me. I always thought I'd be that cool older lady...the one that doesn't sweat her age. But now that the big 4-0 is around the corner, I do feel some dampness on my forehead. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING THE PAST 39 years?!!

Major or minor changes, they are all stuff that I’ve been carrying around with me for a long time. I just don't want that weight on me anymore. Because it's not about growing up and becoming oh so mature for me. What it is, is "me" growing better.

So at least every week, I will candidly share with you my adventures in attempting to become a better version of me. And as my birthday is November 5, I only have 9 months and 4 days left. By the time I am blowing 40 candles, I sure hope that aside from the fire extinguisher, I carry with me that confidence that I am yet to reach my prime.

Wish me luck.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Always Be Ready To Party

(10 day, 5 hours, and 15 minutes)

Cleaning House

I am getting ready for my LA edition of my 40th celebration. Nothing major, just a wine pairing night with a hand full of friends in CALI. I designed it so I have nothing to stress over too much---except, now I am still freaking out! It's the whole cleaning and organizing bit, as well as the mental preparation for actually turning 40. Frankly, I don't quite know if I am panicked more for the party or the bday. But I just take it all as one overwhelming feeling.

Why cannot I be like one those people?! Always ready for unannounced guests.

Adding insult to injury, last night I met the lovely gay couple that lives above me. We became instant BFFs as they too shared my passion for interior design, flea market treasures from the 50s and just overall aesthetics. Manuel as it turns out is a fashion designer. If you know me at all, you know that at this point I pretty much decided that I love this gay man. Michael, I am not so sure of but he is very sweet and shares the other's DIY sensibilities. They put me to shame as I walked through their apartment. Their place felt like a "home", with each room treated with so much care and thought. Each item you know they have a high regard for. Their greatest feature perhaps is "I SEE THEIR DESIGN". They have that immaculate neatness and order that does not seem human, and just that general good feeling of quality of life.

Yes I have great ideas, beautiful things and set ups I've arranged around, but they are hidden behind the clutter. Could this be a metaphor for my own life? I heard once before, "how you are with one thing, is how you are about everything". It's a very black and white statement but there is great truth in it (to some degree).

After I made plans to "brunch" with my gay BFFs, I quickly returned to my task. Throw, organize, or at least put in the garage. I have a long way to go, but come Saturday, I know I'll be ready. At least for the party.

At the moment I could hear one of the M & M couple pound away. I am sure they are building something innovative as I type. But no worries. In time, it'll be my turn to tour them around my home. I just have some digging, spitting and buffing to do before I get to the good stuff.
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)