It has been about a month now since my last entry and I'm really sorry about that. But do know that while I haven't posted, the growth work has not stopped. If anything, it was at its speediest. For you see, it was a time I felt I needed to just be within my thoughts.
Let me explain. About a month ago, my mom left to stay in the Philippines for good. And while on a daily basis you could frequently hear me screaming in frustration after we hang up from a phone conversation, the simple truth is I love my mom.
The night I watched her make the turn for the security check, I couldn't stop crying. She was not going to be "easy access" anymore. And while one would think I would have exhaled a sigh of relief after months of torturous arguments and stress over her move, I found myself deeply saddened.
There, was a woman who loved me so, and accepted me for all that I was. She might nag me and make me feel guilty, but at the end of the day, she's been there for me.
That afternoon, we were still shopping for her last minute supplies, and in all our stops, for every cream she bought for herself, she'd get me a moisturizer. For every multi-vitamin, she would buy me Calcium supps to leave on my kitchen table.
My dad, was always the practical man. A cardiologist who has worked hard throughout the years. While he is a science man, he is moreso a religious man. He always made "responsible decisions". Just as he would always wear iron pressed pajamas to bed. As reserved as he is, in his weekly calls, I could feel the love. Although by the end of it, I am dying from hearing, "pray the rosary every night", for the umpteenth time.
In my career life throughout the years, both my parents have been very supportive of all my decisions. A great deal of them, they didn't necessary understand, but they knew creatively I needed to pursue them. And since most of the last 12 years I have been very busy everyday, I know that I have numbed a part of me that would soften with every phone call they made.
But life is short, and as I turn 40, my parents turn 70. It is time for me to really pay attention to them.
So I will learn to enjoy every overbearing phone call, get amused by run on e-mails full of complaints, and appreciate the heard-it-many-times-over lectures on health and financial stability. If I had all that time all those years to listen to my clients' hackneyed comments, I sure as hell have time to entertain whatever my parents toss my way.
I will miss them now, instead of later.
Naks naman. good for you!
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